


Tuesday

by dainochild



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Crack, M/M, Tumblr Ask Box Fic, Valentine's Day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-14
Updated: 2012-02-14
Packaged: 2017-11-14 10:20:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 432
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/514196
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dainochild/pseuds/dainochild
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mycroft kidnaps John and gives him very specific instructions on how to handle Tuesday the 14th of February in regards to Sherlock.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tuesday

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Chazzidoodle](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Chazzidoodle).



> Prompt was 'CAN I REQUEST JOHN AND SHERLOCK'. It was my first time with Sherlock fics.

As much as John hated the automated check outs at Tesco’s, he never expected one to hate him back. This was all that went through his mind as the loud pre-recorded voice clearly said, “ _Swipe fail. Get out of the store. Right now_.”

“…all right then,” John said to the machine, quite uncomfortably. He looked around, shrugged, abandoned the milk and stepped outside.

Mycroft’s car was waiting. Clearly, John’s first thought ought to have been ‘ _what does Mycroft want_ now _?_ ’

John thought that maybe he’d had too much to drink the night before.

“All right,” John said to Anthea as he obediently climbed inside. To his surprise, Mycroft was sitting there, looking vaguely amused. Holmes and their God complexes. “What is it now? Shouldn’t you be waiting at an abandoned warehouse for me?”

The car started.

“No time,” Mycroft said. “Sherlock has already started to play popular music.”

John blinked. “I’m sorry, what?”

Mycroft looked as though John should not be surprised that Sherlock even knew who the Pussycat Dolls were, let alone how to play ‘Don’t Cha’ on the violin. “Are you aware of what today is, John?”

“…Tuesday?”

Mycroft shook his head sadly. “It’s Valentine’s Day, John.”

Bugger. Maybe that was why Shirley had dumped him.

“Hang on,” John said, “what has Valentine’s Day got to do with Sherlock?”

John knew what the deadpan stare meant that time.

“Bloody hell we’re not a couple,” John sighed.

“Yes you are,” Mycroft replied. The car stopped. Anthea held back a neatly wrapped box. “I have arranged this. Give it to Sherlock.”

“We’re really not a couple,” John said. “I’m not gay. You should know that if you’re so bloody smart.”

John took the box anyway and stepped out onto the street. He climbed the steps to 221B, and hoped that it was a box of milk. Somehow.

When he heard Avril Lavigne’s ‘Girlfriend’ befouling Sherlock’s violin, John decided to give him the present just to stop the awful sound.

“Why did Mycroft tell you to give me this?” Sherlock asked.

John shrugged. Better not to go there.

Sherlock opened the box. It was a human heart.

“Excellent,” Sherlock said, almost giddy. “Just what I needed.” He put it in the microwave in a dish of John didn’t even want to know what and watched as it rotated. “By the way, John — happy Valentine’s Day.”

John opted not to think about why Sherlock didn’t have room in his mind-palace for the solar system but had room for Valentine’s Day, because the only thing he could deduce was that maybe they  _were_  a couple.

**Author's Note:**

> Took about twenty minutes.


End file.
